Snip, snip...buzz, buzz...

I am a little freaked out about the thought of whacking my hair off.  Just a little.  OK, honestly, a lot.

Ever since I found out that I would lose my hair due to chemo, I knew I would take matters into my own hands and whack it all off before it fell out on its own.  I don't really want to wake up one morning with my whole head of hair stuck to my pillow or falling out in fist fulls in the shower.  Too traumatic.  However, I am now having second thoughts!  What is it about losing my hair that has me freaked out?  I keep thinking that I am going to be one of the lucky ones and not lose my hair.  The odds are not in my favor. 

I have been scouring the internet trying to find out if there are people out there who haven't lost their hair.  So far, I have found one person.  One person.  Or, more accurately, one person who has the guts to post their story on the internet.  On the flip side, I have found a lot of people who have lost their hair permanently due to one of the chemo drugs I am taking.  Forever.  They even have their own website dedicated to finding others like them.  One person who didn't lose their hair vs. lots of people with permanent hair loss.  Awesome.

Statistically, I have a 77% chance of losing all my hair (23% saw drastic thinning).  I don't really know why I am second guessing myself on chopping off my hair.  It's not as if my hair makes me a girl or defines me as a person.  But, I can't help but thinking, maybe, just maybe, I won't lose my hair....