Fill 'er up!!!!!

On Wednesday, I went back to see my plastic surgeon. I was hoping to get the last 2 drains out but I knew the output was still to high so I wasn't holding my breath!

I got undressed and put the gown on with the opening in the front and waited for the doctor. He came in looked at my chart with my output from my drains and told me I am doing too much with my arms and to stop or else the drains will never come out! He gets my sense of humor!  But message received, kind of. It's harder than you think to sit around and do nothing!  Anyways, he tells me to take the gown off so he can take a look. What's funny is before I was all embarrassed by having a doctor look at my boobs.  Now, after this process, it doesn't phase me one bit!!  He said I am healing up well and took off the steristrips on both incisions. Then he told me it was time for my first fill up!  I laughed, of course!

So this is how it works when you get a fill up.  The doctor uses a magnet to find the port in the tissue expander. The port is where he fills the expander. After finding the port, he then has to sterilize and sterilize again the skin.  After he sterilizes the skin, you can't lift your arms above your boobs or he has to sterlize the skin again. This is to prevent germs from falling off my arms and onto my boobs. Once my boobs are sterilzed he puts a super small needle into my boob and through the port and starts the fill up process.

So during my first fill up, all I could say over and over and over again was "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" I was freaking out....just a little bit!!!  As most of you know, I am a very animated person. I use my hands alot to emphasize my words. The first boob that was filled I was very good not to wave my hands everywhere as I was yelling OMG over and over. This was only because the MA was holding my hands as the doc filled my boob up! My doc and MA thought i was so funny!  They laughed and laughed and told me i was the funnest patient they had!  The second boob I got all OMG again and I almost raised my hand too high. I got in trouble. Anyways, I got a whopping 70cc of saline in each tissue expander!!  I was quite proud of myself!  Now, you are probably wondering if it hurt.  Nope, at least not at that moment. Later that night, I could barely move it hurt so bad!  But it is worth it.  You wanna know why?!?!  Because now I have little bitty baby boobies!!!!!!!

"It's better than i thought"

"Its better than I thought."  Those were the first words out of my surgeon's mouth when I talked to her yesterday afternoon (and p.s. she interrupted my afternoon nap so I was a little grumpy, so good thing she had good news or else I would have been super grumpy!).

Let me back track to Monday when I went to see her for my first post-op appointment. At that time she did not have my final pathology report but she had been communicating with the technician about my results. They both were thinking that all of the 4 spots they found prior to my surgery (1 was biopsied, the other 3 were not) were all connected in 1 big cancer cluster. If this were the case, which is what the tech and the surgeon were thinking, it would make the cancerous tumor over 5cm which would mean radiation and chemo. I was a bit bummed, but knew we didn't know anything 100% .

So, when the surgeon called yesterday, I was prepared for the worst. She surprised me when she said, "its better than I thought".  Turns out the main tumor, the one that was biopsied prior to surgery, is (or I guess was since it's no longer with us!) 3.2 cm.  The other spots were all ductal carcinoma in situ and were not connected to the main tumor.   Ductal carcinoma in situ is cancer that hasn't become invasive, or spread, yet.  I also did not have any lymph nodes envolvement.  The right boob was clear of cancer as well. All in all, better news than I was expecting! 

The surgeon has staged me at stage 2a, grade 2.  This means that tumor is larger than 2cm but does not include lymph nodes.  Grade 2 means that the cells look more abnormal and are growing slightly faster than normal boob cells. 

My surgeon is not recommending radiation, but did request I see the oncologist. She still believes that the oncologist will recommend I have chemo, but you never know, maybe I will be one of the few lucky ones who won't have to have it!

pics from surgery day!!!

who knew a blue hair net would look so fashionable on me?!?!?!?

  Two thumbs up before surgery!!!!

  Barely able to make one thumb down after surgery!!!

Permission granted...

Since my mom has given me permission to use all the bad words I want given the situation I am in, I feel it is in my best interest to go for it. So here I go.... I feel like absolute shit today. No joke. This morning I went with my mom to take lil o to school because he was having an epic two year old meltdown demanding I do everything for him. While it was nice to get out of the house, I am paying for it dearly. I came home and slept for over three hours and woke up feeling like I was run over by a bus. And to make matters worse, not only do I feel like shit, I haven't gone poop since last Thursday.  How shitty is that? 

Home...home on the range!!!!

I made it home yesterday after a gruelling couple of days in the hospital.  The docs couldn't figure out what combo of drugs would work for me.  Finally, they sent me home with percoset and it works really well. 

I was visited by several of my friends in the hospital - Lindsay, steph, Julie Ann and Suzanne. I remember them coming to visit. What we talked about is a complete mystery!!!  Once I got home on Sunday I had a few more visitors, lindsay, mel c, and jen, who were kind enough to bring us dinner.  Yummy! 

I have found that if I try to do much it wears me down pretty quick and then get sick to my stomach. Cant do too much but I did get my hair washed!  I had my head hanging over the sink while my mom washed my hair!!!

I am so happy that we got a lazy-boy when I was pregnant with little o. Yes, I used it alot to rock him, but now I can use it to sleep in and relax in!!!

Pics from the preop room!!!

Waiting and waiting.....

Still in the preop room...I got bumped out of my operating room and oh boy was my surgeon ticked off. Pretty sure she yelled at a bunch of people.  So we are just hanging out watching law and order svu. Awesome.

On another note, my stomach is growling. And if anyone could bring me a drink, that would be great!  A Cosmo sounds pretty yummy right about now.  Omar will take a scotch and soda.  My mom will take a glass of Champaign. Preferably chandon!  :-)

At the hospital waiting to go into the surgery room. Nuclear medicine appointment was interesting.  My boob is glowing now!!!!

Things to get done before surgery....

1. Get a pedicure - It is a must to have pretty toes while laying on the operating table; however, something tells me the surgeon won't be looking at my toes!  But, to be on the safe side, I should get one especially since I haven't had a pedicure since Christmas.  The red nail polish is starting to look kinda shabby.

2. Get a massage - no real reason other than I haven't had one since Maui back in July 2011.

3. Get a haircut - I know, I know!  If I end up having chemo it won't matter what my hair looks like, but it goes with getting a pedicure - I should try and look nice on the operating table.  I am drawing the line on getting my highlights done, because there is no reason to spend $150 on my hair that is probably going to fall out anyway.  A $10 haircut, well now that is a different story! 

4.  Make some casseroles and freeze them - That is just plain dumb.  We all know I don't cook.  I will just wait for the Tater Tot Casserole I know my best friend is already planning on bringing over after surgery.  It's really good, even though it has Cream of Mushroom soup in it and I don't like mushrooms!

5.  Clean the car - Random, I know, but my car is pretty dirty inside and out.  My dad would be soo ashamed to see a car this way.  But, I also have a 2 year old.  I don't have the time or the energy to drag my butt outside, move the car out of the garage, fill a bucket with water and soap, scrub my car, rinse it off, dry it, vacuum it, clean the windows, etc.  I will pay someone to do it for me.  As my dad would say, I am a true California girl!



Maui 2011

Cabo 2010

Pick a good one!

Over the past few weeks I have received several cards wishing me well on this roller coaster journey called boob cancer.  I had to share with you my favorite one thus far!  It is from my dear friend Julie Ann, and she totally gets me!  I laughed so hard, I almost peed in my pants!

So, how am I going to deal with this boob cancer?

Hmmm...throwing poop might be fun, a little messy, but I can handle it!  But it begs the question...how should I go about getting poop?  I really don't want to dig around in the toilet for mine (ew, gross)... Oh, I know...I have a dog and a 2 year old, so I should be able to scrounge some up!!!  Who wants to join me?!?!?!

"Bueller?...Bueller?...Bueller?..."

B Day

Well, the big B (boob) day has been scheduled. I will be going in for surgery on March 16th. They haven't given me a specific time yet because they have to schedule my nuclear medicine appointment firtst... yuu heard me right, I said nuclear medicine. I know my doctors and I are trying to hit this breast cancer with everything we have, but a nuclear bomb in my boob...really?  Really? 

No, not really! But doesn't it sound like I am having some sort of top secret spy mission on my boob?  I will fully admit that we did watch the movie, Cars 2, tonight with Little O. I may just be thinking that I am Finn McMissile or Holey Shiftwell (they were secret spies for England.  Oh, just watch the moviel It is a pretty cool movie!.  I will have a nuclear medicine appointment so that the doctor can inject some nuclear stuff into my boob cancer spot so they can determine which of my lymph nodes is the first, or sentinel, lymph node. The dye will drain from the cancer into the sentinel lymph node and then the doctor will remove only that lymph node to have pathology test it to determine if the cancer has spread. Awesome.

The surgery should take around 4 hours. I will have one boob taken off and then the next. But, then the real magic begins...new boobs here I come!!!